I'm stuck in this funky spot with my health journey at the moment. I've lost 70 lbs., my body feels great, I'm healthier than I have been any time since my early 20's and, for the life of me, I cannot envision what comes next. So, I've just kind of plateaued - both physically and mentally. The excitement has worn off. Weight loss surgery is no longer shiny and new... it is status quo and I don't do so well with status quo.
I need a new challenge to reignite the fire in my belly.
Every day, for the past two weeks, it's been pretty much the same conversation in my head...
"Okay, this is the last [insert anything a post-WLS person should not be eating here] I eat. Tomorrow I'm back on the bandwagon."
"Okay, this is the last day I allow myself not to exercise. Tomorrow I'm back on the bandwagon."
"Okay, this is the last day that I go to bed not having drank at least 64 oz. of water. Tomorrow I'm back on the bandwagon."
My precious snowflakes, there is no bandwagon to be found.
That's not to say that it's been all bad - some days are better than others. But the strict regiment I was following for a while there is gone. I've discovered that I can cheat just a little and still get "okay" results and somewhere in the last two weeks "okay" became okay again. Except it is not - I gave up "okay" the day I let a surgeon slice off 80% of my stomach.
There is a itch within, a twinge of a desire to do something spectacular... I just don't know quite what it is yet.
Eating to my guidelines, exercising, drinking an adequate amount of water, sleeping 7 hours, taking my supplements and practicing gratitude, daily, would be pretty fucking spectacular, I guess. I just don't know why it sounds so very uninteresting right now...
Me thinks I have found a topic for the next visit with Jillian, therapist to the stars...